Once again soldier John Rambo must rescue white Americans from evil foreigners.

TRUE DUDES REVIEW:

If someone told me this movie was filmed in 1989 I would have believed them. Its good, old fashioned, macho, fun. Stallone, as tough as he ever was, though looking fairly old at this point, does a good job both in front of and behind the camera. The co-stars all do a serviceable job, though none of their characters ever rise above their one note personas. The villains are just as you’d expect, evil and cruel as can be (just the way I like them).

Though the plot is thin, this movie is fast paced and exciting. Special mention should be made of the violence in this film. HOLY SHIT! This movie is as gory as they come and it is seriously bad ass. I couldn’t even count how many people exploded. How this was rated R I’ll never know. I highly recommend this film if you’re looking from a fun, action packed way to spend 94 min. If you’re looking for an academy award winner look else where. Let’s hope that Stallone keeps up the good work and doesn’t squander the goodwill he has earned from Rocky Balboa and now Rambo.

True Dudes gives Rambo 4 out of 5 middle fingers.

A going away party for a friend ends in disaster when a monster attacks New York City.

TRUE DUDES REVIEW:

I’ll just come right out and say it, this movie kicks ass! Although it is filmed like the Blair Witch Project (hand held, first person video camera), that’s where the similarities end. Cloverfield is fucking intense. Instead of twigs and a person standing in a corner (like the Shit Witch Project), we actually have something to be scared of. We get to see the monster up close and personal. A couple of times we are right in its face and it is fucking cool looking. The monster is an original design and totally scary. Make no mistake about it , this is most definitely a monster movie!

The humans are o.k. too. The acting is decent and the characters are only mildly annoying. The worst being actor T.J. Miller, playing the character Hud, who at times I wished would hurry up and die. His character was also responsible for the majority of the filming, which I found a little hard to believe. I mean, he’s getting chased by a huge fucking monster and he still keeps filming? Also, I don’t know what brand video camera they were using but it must be the greatest camera ever. The battery never dies and they drop it at least twenty times with out it breaking.

Over all I really enjoyed this film. Even if it did hit an occasional bump in the road, they were easy to get past. The filming style, while chaotic, was also easy to adjust to. Thanks to a short run time, 84 min., this movie was fast paced and exciting.

True Dudes gives Cloverfield 3 out of 5 middle fingers.

A ridiculously hot and caring woman has trouble finding love (yeah right). It seems she’s always a bridesmaid (27 times) and never the bride. If you don’t already think this movie sounds like shit then you’re an idiot.

TRUE DUDES REVIEW:

I wanted to like this movie, I really did. But, the clichéd script and retarded characters made it almost impossible. The plot relies on hackneyed, seemingly magical coincidences to move the story along. After the hundredth groan inducing, romantic comedy cliché, I gave up. This is the kind of movie that gives chick flicks a bad name.

The only good thing about this film was Katherine Heigl. Her character Jane was sweet and charming. Her good looks and on screen charisma kept me watching long after I wanted to gouge my eyes out.

True Dudes gives 27 Dresses 1 out of 5 middle fingers.

A misunderstanding separates two young lovers who must then struggle to reunite during WWII.

TRUE DUDES REVIEW:

What a beautifully filmed, marvelously acted, superbly directed piece of shit this is. I can’t remember the last time I left the theater this disappointed. As craft the film is excellent. As entertainment it fails miserably.

For starters, the romance is rushed leaving the viewer questioning if the two lead characters are actually in love. We see them share only one moment of passion which amounts to the character Robbie, played by James McAvoy, telling Keira Knightly’s Cecilia, that he dreams about eating her out. Then he fucks her on a bookshelf in her parent’s library. This is romance? If all it takes is some dirty talk and a quick fuck, why the hell are the rest of us wasting our time with dinner and flowers? To top things off, we get needless subplots which never add anything to the overall picture. Lastly, a dreary ending that shamelessly attempts to tug at our heartstrings, but never even comes close.

True Dudes gives Atonement 2 out of 5 middle fingers.

TRUE DUDES REVIEWS BEST OF 2007:

• 300
• Grindhouse
• Once
• Hot Fuzz
• Away From Her
• Knocked Up
• Superbad
• Gone Baby Gone
• The Assassination Of Jesse James
• The Mist
• Juno

TRUE DUDES WORST OF 2007:

• Pathfinder
• I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
• War
• Halloween
• 30 Days of Night
• Hitman