Neon Maniacs - 1986
Director: Joseph Mangine

Late one night in the mid -1980s, a group of high school kids went out to party in a shitty park some where in San Francisco. Little did the kids know that they were partying on Neon Maniac turf. The Neon Maniacs are a brutal group of underground mutant punks that come out every night (weather permitting) to rip the shit out of humans in the Bay area. So, all the kids in the party are slaughtered except for Natalie. The police don’t believe Natalie’s story because the Neon Maniacs removed all the evidence from the scene of the crime. Luckily for Natalie, Paula, who’s kind of like a horror obsessed Nancy Drew, receives info about the disappearance of the teenagers and goes to investigate.
All the while, Natalie is being harassed because people think that she just came up with some bullshit story about the monsters killing her friends. Natalie is comforted by her socially inept, romantic interest Steven. Steven takes Natalie out on a date to take her mind off of things. But, the Neon Maniacs want to take care of her once and for all and almost get them after highjacking their subway car, then attacking them on a city bus. The next morning Paula informs them that water is only way to take the Maniacs down.
Steve realizes that the Maniacs will probably plan their next attack conveniently on the same night of the Battle of the Bands that he’s organizing. Armed with squirt guns and two fucking awful rock bands (one of which is fronted by Steven), they’re totally ready to wipe out the Maniacs. Before long the Maniacs try to crash the party once again. But clever little Paula puts the kibosh on their slaughtering shenanigans quicker than you can say “shittiest fuckin’ movie ever” by turning the fire hose on the Maniacs. After the the police interrogate the kids about what happened at the party, they decide to raid the Maniacs purported hideout. They find no trace of the homicidal fiends. Of course when the main detective goes back for a second look around, they get him with the old meat hook through the throat gag.
This is sorta like an extremely low-budget version of Clive Barker’s Nightbreed had it been adapted by retarded people. Really, the script makes no fucking sense, and I was kinda of pissed that they never gave any kind of back story about why there are mutant killers living under the Golden Gate bridge. And the whole thing about water killing them is such a weak, fucking copout. They shoulda taken the time to come up with a creative way to destroy the mutants. I was surpised to find that director, Joseph Mangine, was the cinematographer for such b movie classics as Alligator 1&2, Mother’s Day, Squirm and I Drink You Blood. This would be a perfect movie for when you’re about five or six beers deep and know that your friends are gonna be talking and making fun of the movie during it’s entire duration.
DVD is from Anchor Bay. Special features include one theatrical trailer.

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True Dudes gives Neon Maniacs 1 out of 5 middle fingers.